Clearly Define Marriage For Yourselves

There are many accounts of how this little thing called marriage came to be. Many historians have concluded that the earliest humans actually had no need for companionship between two people because of the way they conceived and fed themselves. I’ll let you do your own research based on your beliefs, but there’s a decent amount of evidence out there to suggest that maybe we didn’t start out as a species that needed to be married.

But as civilizations started to form and become more modernized, civil unions between couples became the norm as a way to ensure that any children they conceived would be taken care of by them. Once again, I implore you to do your own research on the history of marriage.

I wanted to briefly touch on this subject because it’s sort of obvious that marriage doesn’t have the same meaning today that it did when the idea was conceptualized. Because of this, many people in the world can’t give a good reason why they should take that step and quite frankly don’t see the point of it all.

As a married man myself, I’ll be humble enough to admit that I could never give an answer deeper than: “it’s in the Bible.” That answer would be more than sufficient for some people and I completely respect that because I’ve always been the same way. But how would you explain that to someone who isn’t as heavily influenced by Biblical principles as some people are? I get that most would draw a line in the sand and refuse to even try to explain it, but we don’t do that in the Married Mafia.

This is why I believe it’s important for the 21st century couple to define marriage for themselves. Don’t get married just because that’s what “decent people do” or to “make an honest woman” out of your lady, whatever the fuck that means.

I define my marriage as a commitment to Yana that I want her to be my partner and best friend for the rest of my life.

Don’t get me wrong, as a man who was raised on Biblical principles, I believe the words of 1 Corinthians 7:9 that say: “…if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion” and I definitely believe the words of Proverbs 18:22 that say: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.”

But with your own clear definition of your marriage, I believe your chances of success go up exponentially because you both know why you’re there. When things get a little rough (and they will), that “why” is what’s going to keep you from calling it quits prematurely. It also means you have more invested into the results of your marriage because you’re giving your union meaning instead of just doing what you think your family or upbringing would expect.

Let me be clear though: you need a strong purpose for your marriage, not an excuse to stay married. There’s a huge difference. If you decide you want to build a bond with a partner that you can travel the world with, that can be considered a decent purpose. Maybe you want grow so deeply connected with your partner that you two become best friends and want to help other couples experience that bond as well. That’s my purpose in a nutshell so I’d say it’s pretty decent, only time will tell. But what’s not a purpose is: staying together because of the kids, or staying together for the house, etc. Those are excuses to stay married and are clear signs that something is broken.

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