Take Control of Your Life

Unless you are born with a silver spoon, you are very likely to be working. Rightly or wrongly, you either work to exist or exist to work. Many work to exist (unfortunately), which may mean working to upkeep or pay for your lifestyle. But very few can boldly proclaim gleefully that they exist to work. Whatever your raison d’être is, there is no rule of thumb that will provide the correct answer and guide you in making the right choice.

Same Shit, Different Logo

Like most of you, I too have a job. I work as a lawyer. To many, a job as a lawyer is a hallmark of prestige. But trust me, being a lawyer isn’t all glitz and glamour! It’s far from what is depicted in popular television legal dramas, “Suits” or “Boston Legal”. I deal with all kinds of shit that life as a lawyer throws at you. The shit can manifest in various shapes and forms — from dealing with unreasonable expectation of clients to dealing with constant threat or harassment from your boss for not meeting billing targets or toxic colleagues. Whatever your life’s work is, we all deal with the same shit that comes with the job, but wrapped with a different logo.

As if we have not enough shit to deal with at work, out of the blue, we have to add another type of shit to our repertoire debuted last year by the coronavirus pandemic — the type which personifies stress. With the pandemic showing no signs of abating, we now have to learn to tackle mental stress unimaginable before the pandemic — ­­coping with loss of normalcy, keeping up with constantly changing rules, dealing with lack (or no) social connection, and many other stressful shit that affects our mental health.

As creature of choice, only you can decide how you wish to deal with the shit at work — either you continue living with the shit hurled at you (and be buried alive under a pile of shit, metaphorically) or take control of your work life by emptying the shit from your system. For me, the choice was crystal clear. I decided to take control of my life by leaving my shitty job to start my own practice with a like-minded friend. The decision to quit my job was not an easy one to make. It involves a lot of thinking, confronting my bogeyman of fear and self-doubt, managing my ego, and dealing with all kinds of concerns, real or imaginary. Hopefully, the tips below will help you choose your decision well without prolonging your misery.

Know What You Want

If you are constantly bombarded with shit, there will come a time when you start to question yourself whether your bosses’ demands of their pound of flesh and the distress inflicted on you at the expense of your mental wellbeing is worth living your life under such shitty conditions. As I am very clear with what I want in life — living under constant (bull)shit is definitely not what I have bargained for — the decision was not a difficult one to choose. Because I had absolute clarity of thought and knew what I want out of life, the decision was peasy easy — take back control of my life to free myself from the shackle of shit. Once you have made the decision, you need to constantly remind yourself to be positive, mentally strong, and happy whatever the adversities (real or imaginary).

Be Positive

No matter how shitty you feel at times, you need to always remain positive. Being positive means not worrying about events or circumstances not within your control, not imagining the worst possible scenarios which may (or may not) happen, and not wasting your energy on negative thoughts that pollute your mind. When you start dwelling on negative thoughts, it invariably makes you depress and lose sight on what you have set out to achieve.

Be Strong

You often hear people saying “life is a bed of roses”. Life is more than just roses. It is roses plus thorns. The “thorns” represent the pain, suffering, and adversities that you go through in life. Ironically, it is the “thorns” that build and strengthen your character, make you better able to deal with your adversities. If you embrace that paradigm shift and see the beauty of the “thorns”, you will quickly learn to develop the mental strength to see you through the difficulties. You are in fact stronger than you think.

Be Happy

“Happiness” means different things to different people. To me, happiness means being content with what you have and being content with where you are in your life. If you can accept that simplistic but objective perspective, you will soon realise that you don’t have to always keep up with the Joneses nor have the constant urge to compare yourself with others. Once you stop outsourcing your happiness, your happiness in life is no longer dependent on what others think of you. You take back control of your happiness.

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