Is there anything to spirituality?

Spirituality has been becoming more and more popular in the last years. What does it offer in the 21st century?

The rise of modern spiritual movements is eye-catching: I myself was drawn to learn more about it a few years ago. My spiritual voyage involved in reading a few dozen books, spending a few hundred hours watching YouTube videos, and writing a few hundred pages in my diary lost in contemplation. I never became a strong follower of any particular guru: rather, I had a few spiritual ‘periods’. I would get interested in a guru, binging on everything he ever wrote or spoke on the topics and philosophical questions that most fascinated me. This typically lasted a few weeks, after which I would discover a new guru and switch to his materials. This cycle repeated itself a few times, until, a couple of years later, in 2015, I lost interest and decided to go on an indefinite spiritual diet. Why did I decide to do this, and what, if anything, did I learn from spirituality? Read on to find out…

It is in such difficult periods we may find ourselves questioning the very basic assumptions we have been living with our whole lives. Age-old philosophical questions may come up, such as ‘How do I prevent suffering?’, ‘What do I really want out of life?’, and ‘Who the hell am I anyway?’. Even after having lived for many years, it seems difficult to come up with satisfactory answers. Naturally, we are drawn to research these subjects further, to find out: how can we live better? And, how can we bring some order to this chaos that is life? This is when we may come across the self-help section in a bookstore, where the books on spiritual topics are often located.

Most spiritual philosophies are heavily influenced by ancient spiritual traditions, such as Buddhism, Yoga or Hinduism. A core message that is very common among modern spiritual teachers is the following. They make the observation that the majority of humans are conditioned by society to live in a way that constantly creates suffering and conflict. We face various challenges when dealing with others (in our relationships for example), as well as internally within ourselves, as mentioned earlier. Then, spirituality talks about a different way of living and perceiving the world that is radically different from what we are used to. It is a different state of being altogether, a state of ‘oneness with all of life’, ‘living in the present moment’ and ‘living without any conflict’. Crucially, this spiritual state is already within us and is our true, authentic nature. Due to our conditioning, we have lost our capacity to get in touch with that state. Luckily, given enough time, dedication and patience, we can remember how to live this way. This will result in inner peace, and the world will also become a better place.

The gurus claim to have gone through a ‘radical transformation’, which lead to them reaching the state of oneness and peace. Having reached that state, they go on writing books and touring the world to talk about spirituality. They build a spiritual philosophy around themselves, describing their state in great detail, and provide guidance on topics such as how to live, how to deal with anger and greed and how to find meaning in life. Often, they use vague and abstract language when discussing these subjects, abstaining from offering any concrete advice or strategy for improvement. The spiritual state, they say, cannot be described in any words because it is beyond description, and thus one must find a way to reach it on his own. The best they can do is to give a living example which is reflected in everything that they are and do: the way they talk, the way they move, and so on.

The message of spirituality sounds appealing, and the gurus do correctly point out many of our imperfections. We indeed have been struggling, and the idea of finding a better way of living sounds exciting, making us feel special and in-the-know. Immediately, we start fantasizing about a new way of looking at the world from what we are used to. A new state where all of our problems will be completely gone forever. Surely, it is worthwhile to try to attain that state. It feels as if we have finally found a way out of our boring life, and have discovered our true calling and purpose.

This is when we begin to put the gurus on a pedestal in our minds: they must be sacred, holy and wise, for they have given us a new path, to us and to so many others. We see them as emanating all the qualities we have ever wished to possess. Unintentionally, we start to believe every word that they say, and start copying the way they talk. We want what they have: which is, supposedly, some great wisdom and certainty for how to live, a state of Nirvana or oneness with life, or something like that. This creates a search for a change within us: obviously, there must be a gap between the way we are currently functioning, and the way the teachers are functioning. They must have something more, and we are determined to find out what that is.

This draws us more and more to the spiritual way of life. We need to work hard to figure it out: how to be like those holy men. Paradoxically, the more time we spend on the spiritual pursuits, the more we feel the need to intensify our efforts. We start to read and contemplate more. We surround ourselves with spiritual friends that are on the same path, and start to frequent spiritual gatherings. Maybe, we even go to a retreat where we sit in silence for hours in order to observe our minds. But, coming back home, time after time, and returning to the ‘normal’ society, we are faced with the same reality that we left behind. The excitement of spirituality starts to slowly wear off. We find ourselves making the same mistakes, behaving the same way we are used to. And the same old imperfections stare right back at us. Did anything happen, did we learn anything at all? There are two possible conclusions to be made. Either our efforts were not enough, meaning that we need to double them. Or, there is something wrong with the whole system.

Let’s assume for a second that the spiritual state that the gurus are describing indeed exists. We have already spent a lot of effort, we have tried everything, but nothing seems to work. We are exactly where we started. What can we do? We need to carefully look at the situation. The gurus have been telling us that there is a state of being, different to ours, which supposedly they are in. We can also be in that state, in fact we are already in that state, but there are some obstacles stopping us from being in that state. Did you catch the paradox there? We are already in that state, but we must work hard to be in that state. That doesn’t make any sense! If you are already in that state, it is impossible to ‘get in’ that state. So, no amount of effort will get you there. We must stop, because we are wasting time trying to attain something which supposedly we already have. We are going in circles, chasing a mirage.

Then, let’s assume for a second that the spiritual state doesn’t exist at all. This means we have been wasting time pursuing something that doesn’t exist. It seems logical that we should stop our efforts and direct our time and energy towards a goal that can actually be achieved. Makes sense, doesn’t it? For example, becoming rich. Not that I am advocating it, but at least it can be clearly defined. Let’s say being rich is about having a million dollars in the bank. Through effort, I can work hard to make more and more dollars, and it is easy to track my progress. Eventually, I can say ‘I am rich now, I have achieved my goal’, and I am done. With spirituality, we are working towards something vague and elusive: nobody knows what it is precisely, and nobody has a way to measure it.

If the spiritual state exists, and we already have it, there seems to be no rational reason to try to achieve it. If the state doesn’t exist at all, spirituality is guaranteed to leave us empty handed, and wastes our time on top of that. So, what do we need spirituality for?

The truth for why we got interested in spirituality in the first place may seem harsh, but is selfish and self-centered in nature. As all other people on earth, we want to feel different and special, we want to feel noticed and to fit in a group. Society provides us with a number of ways to feel special: you can achieve it by buying an expensive car, by becoming a CEO, or by joining a religion, for example. Modern spirituality is a similar commodity, in that it gives us a new way of thinking about the world and ourselves that feels special. Being spiritual, we are part of a small group of selected individuals that are ‘in the know’ of the secret messages of spirituality. We are not really behaving in a new way ourselves, but at least conceptually, we can imagine that another way exists. We are on the spiritual journey towards behaving in a superior way, and spiritual teachings give us the ticket for how to get there.

In reality, spirituality is nothing but a new story and a way of thinking through which we can temporarily escape the reality of the world. We choose not to see things the way they are, but to operate in an alternative world full of fantasies: where perfect knowledge, certainty, peace and harmony exist, and everything seems orderly. Because there is a demand for such stories, relevant supply is created by the gurus. Looking at it this way, it seems that modern spirituality is nothing but a growing religious movement that offers new, trendier ideas than what traditional religions have been offering for a very long time.

So, where does this all leave us? I will not say that spirituality is useless. Similar to traditional religions, it has brought forward some interesting ideas that have helped to shape the thinking and values of man, for good or bad. Personally, it has helped me to learn a lot about myself: it taught me introspection, improving my capacity to figure things out on my own. However, in many ways, spirituality has proved to be a distraction from facing the real life and the real world that is out there. It can be an excuse for avoiding the problems and the real work that needs to be done: externally as well as internally.

Many of us turn to spirituality out of fear of being left alone to deal with the reality of the world: which is that our individual lives probably don’t matter so much in the grand scheme of things. The fact is that we don’t know who the hell we are, what we are doing, and we will probably never get living completely right. Perfection doesn’t exist in reality — it only exists in our imagination. Life is not meant to be an endless stream of bliss, but will have its good and bad moments. Understanding and accepting this liberates us from the illusory strive for perfection, and frees us to become whatever we become. One day, we may discover that it’s actually not so bad.

Related posts:

The gig economy is here to stay. 57 million people in the US alone do freelance work, and it is expected that, by 2027, the number will rise to 86 million. The pandemic has impacted this trend as…