The Dark Side of Negative Reinforcement

Everyone understands that the removal of pain feels good.

Everyone understands the meaning of the word relief.

What is far less obvious is a simultaneous process that occurs automatically, yet remains “hidden in the shadows,” which is that at the precise moment that we experience relief, we strengthen the belief that the pain was real.

This is obviously not a problem when the pain is real…

And yet don’t our self-imposed limitations feel painful?

The dark side of negative reinforcement is that when we seek immediate relief from the pain of a self-imposed limitation, we unintentionally strengthen the belief that the self-imposed limitation is real.

At a psychological level, this is the reason why the price we pay for the very brief experience of relief is that our life feels even more limited than it did a few seconds ago.

It also reveals the precise thing we can do to free ourselves from these self-imposed limitations…

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