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Wake Me Up When the Tattoos End

These permanent designs — sometimes plain, sometimes elaborate, always personal — have served as amulets, status symbols, declarations of love, signs of religious beliefs, adornments, and even forms of punishment.

A good tattoo is an incredible story, a beautiful picture, and a piece of your personal style. A bad tattoo is a stupid story, a stupid picture, and a piece of your stupid style.

What follows is a huge collection of some of the worst tattoos we’ve ever had the displeasure to see, and now you have to see them too.

While this tattoo has the words Green Day at the bottom, it looks like Vince Vaughn, my friend Anthony, and Chuck Norris at the top.

The design is a bit childlike, with a big cloud bomb burst that might be an explosion. The band wasn’t that bad!

This is definitely cringe-worthy, but it also looks like it is planned, in a wonderful bit of tattoo irony.

The designer or artist could plainly see what space is required, so odds are this lady got big, Gothic letters on her eight fingers as a joke that will last forever.

This lady loves her beef, chicken, and pork — yum! She and the hot dog Fonz guy should hook up.

It’s a great look — better than some of the others we’ve seen, at least — and will get your mouth watering. Ah, no, ew, maybe we should move on.

There are some bad tattoos on this list, but this one isn’t one of them. This one is well-done, has an eye-catching style, and is definitely unique enough.

It’s the kind of thing you might want to cover with a long-sleeved shirt but bust it out at barbecues to big applause.

This could be almost anywhere on the body, but hopefully, it’s somewhere they can hide. It’s kind of a cool design if you look at it long enough.

It won’t really work as a bike, and it doesn’t look all that comfortable, but at least it’s small.

Or, maybe it’s what happens when you mold an eggplant into a face shape. While the thought is there (again, maybe), the execution just didn’t cut it.

She looks like she got into a fight with Mike Tyson. I hope the subject knows you can get tattoos removed.

Another food armpit tattoo and this one brings along with it a personal note. Is her personal body odor just that bad? Or does she really like onions? Or both?

Or, you know, her family has an onion business and she’s just trying to show her commitment to the enterprise.

Everyone should have the chance to look their best. This worker has done his best, calling himself a beautiful butterfly with a classy tramp stamp.

The iconic “tramp stamp” plus, the oh-so-common loose pants that contractors seem to have, shows us this unfortunate choice in all of its…detail. Fly, butterfly, fly.

I don’t think we can make fun of this. It’s self-referential and already doesn’t like itself. Our work is done here.

Even if this is a true tattoo, and not just kids playing around with a marker, we aren’t truly certain if this tattoo will be the source of a life-long regret, even if it says it will be.

I can understand a band, a brand, or even a chair, but laundry? It can be therapeutic, even relaxing, to listen to the dryer rumble as you fold up some laundry, but why get a tattoo?

Even worse, our subject has CLEARLY not separated the colors — it looks like a flashlight pointing at a prism in there.

Darwin may approve, but that might be all. This person decided to get the classic “Evolution of Man” idea.

It’s got an understated design with a simple line-drawing style, but, again, wrinkles will turn this classic imagery into something a little bit less recognizable.

Maybe all of his male family members have a big, bushy mustache, and he just can’t manage more than a teen scruff. Which, when you look at it, wouldn’t be too far off from this guy’s chosen style.

There are a few other questionable tattoos about it, but the “Family Tradition” takes the cake.

This guy should think of a better way to talk about his dreams. He should, also, dream a little bit longer about his spelling.

It’s another tattoo regret for the ages — he could have at least asked the tattoo artist to center it on his chest.

This takes a bit of thinking to get, but bear with us. This is the Konami code, which originally granted a bevy of extra lives in Contra.

I think that this young woman is excited about being a mom, and represents a pregnancy as an extra life.

Ah, yes. Eric Stoltz from Mask. The kind of character everyone wants on their body. Everyone except every single person on earth, minus this guy.

Even if you know who this character is (I do) and why he might want it on his person (I don’t), this person will still probably have plenty of explaining to do.

He’s the king of tattoos, and he’s ready to make his move. Even his lips and eyelids are tattooed, which is not only a pretty intense time requirement but rather painful as well.

This man suffered for his sense of style. And now we all have to suffer, too.

The first tattoo they did the art for, at least. Is this really a tattoo? It seems more like this unlucky lady fell asleep at a party and received some new back art thanks to her friends.

If it is a real tattoo, she either deserves it, or she deserves to get her money back.

Just…too easy. Like, they spelled school wrong. We get that it’s a bit of a funky word, but most kids see it every day of their lives! Was this an artistic choice?

Is it intentionally ironic (the hipster phase has passed, my friend), or is this genuine?

This guy got the message from the blue screen of death (Windows edition) tattooed on his arm. Why would he do that? I bet he’s the one responsible for it.

He’s the one that wrote the message that we see whenever our computers fail us. And he has such a…collection of art, too.

We’re confused, the kid’s confused. The only one who looks pleased is Mom who, to her credit, is now a mom, so congratulations!

Not on the tattoo though, which is very confusing and we’d like to know why.

Well, here’s this one. This one MUST have been a debt that had to be paid off, because what else would possess someone to get a big pile of stinky dog poop on their back?

We at least hope it was the madam’s decision, and not someone else’s.

This guy likes his friends so much that he got their names tattooed on his leg. It could also be a family member, but the important part is that it’s a tattoo.

Patsy, Ritchie, and Alice can be happy knowing their friend or dad or whatever, likes them this much, and look at all that space!

Okay, let’s see what we have here.

It looks like a mermaid, but the kind of mermaid a drunk sailor, still with his sea legs despite back on land, and trying to draw a picture of the enchanting creature he saw during his long, thirsty months at sea to his friends.

This sneakerhead wants to rep his favorite brand even when he’s going bare. The iconic Nike swoosh emblem may catch the eye on a jersey or pair of sweet kicks, but here it looks like an oil stain.

Keep the tattoo money, and maybe invest in a pair of jeans the right size.

His kids didn’t believe him, so he got his head shaved (and tattooed) to prove it.

He really can see them when they’re goofing off in the backseat or trying to sneak to the kitchen for an extra dessert.

Something about this misshapen blueberry sparks a bit of recognition in the brain. It looks like something made intentionally bad — the backward feet, the dopey eyes, the splayed-out hands at the ends of shortened arms.

It could be a child’s drawing, it could be a very first tattoo, it could be a nightmare. (It’s a nightmare.)

We’re going to be asking this question a lot: What Could Have Possessed This Woman?

While the star work is…okay…covering her face with them is a strange choice.

These planes are on their way to something exciting, but we can’t help but wonder if they have some sort of personal meaning.

They look like cartoon planes from the fifties and are angrily headed for a mid-air collision a bit further south. Maybe they’re just itching for the landing strip.

This man had a McDonald’s receipt tattooed on his arm. Now, I can understand a Five Guy’s receipt, but why do this? Did he want to remember the perfect meal he had, that March night in 2014?

Did he hit up a liquor store afterward? A Big Mac is good, but not tattoo-on-your-arm good.

Nothing like beer and NASCAR for a fun day at the races. This brilliant big boy decided he’d add a little visual joke to his appearance and has unfortunately given up on having a six-pack of his very own.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. should be proud to have this guy on his side.

Aaron Carter, once famous thanks to his cool, fun pop songs, was a proud owner of a huge medusa tattoo.

He was a tattoo fanatic, and even though his choices were… out there… he loved them, and his passion for the artwork showed.

A weird tattoo trend is getting something you’re a fan of, despite the banality, on your person. This one espouses a love of comfortable loungers with included footrests, made of charming dark leather and handsome wood frame.

I’m starting to agree with this guy, actually. That thing looks comfy.

Because if she didn’t then this guy has to live with a big, stupid heart and bad lettering on his shoulder (or knee, maybe?) with nothing even to show for it.

“Marry” is misspelled as “merry,” so we might have a clue as to what lucky Nina gave as her answer.

Very classy, that look, is wonderful. But, at the very least, points for creatively combining a bad tat with a bad nipple piercing into something that approaches “okay.”

Not acceptable, or good, but he might get a laugh out of friends every once in a while.

You’ve probably seen this one before, but in case you haven’t, here’s one of the original, legendary bad tattoos.

The typeface is classy, and the idea presented isn’t bad, but the typo’s added irony just turns this into a (chef’s kiss) masterpiece. No matter what you do in your life, have no regrets.

What stellar style we see with this piece. It evokes The Great Wave Off Kanagawa by Hokusai.

This man took a deep dive into his personal tattoo style, covering his entire face, his eyelid, and his ears.

“Coarage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” We can understand the sentiment — it even makes a little bit of sense — but come on, man, get a spell check.

And a copy editor. And finally, for what should be the first and last time, tame that armpit hair.

Hon, it’s not fame if a hundred guys have seen your chest. Ah, and we have another misspelling.

Throw in the…collarbone piercing? Neck piercing? Whatever that painful thing is, we’ve got a classy gal to bring home to mom.

Lots to talk about here, even though we wish we didn’t have to. Okay, so, there are stars in the shape of Australia, which look pretty new, stars recreating the Southern Cross constellation, which looks a bit faded, and a boxing kangaroo, which looks even older.

This guy’s proud to be from the land down under.

The art itself might not be anything special, but if this is a husband getting a tattoo of his wife on his arm, there’s not much else negative to say.

I mean, sure, it’s a bit tacky, but why not celebrate the love of your life? We’d like to think that this lucky lady was touched by the gesture.

Working in the burger fields is a hard job, but somebody has to do it for us to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

There’s nothing like rising in the morning, walking to the rows of burger bushes, and giving the ripening sandwiches a squeeze.

A drake is a word for a male duck, and this lady has gotten a huge, garish tattoo that talks about how much she likes ornitho- No, hold on, we’re getting new info.

What? She did that for a rapper? Oh, honey.

Kids these days love their avocados, but any love can be maligned and twisted.

Your guess is as good as ours for where this tattoo is (armpit perhaps?) but the subject matter is truly bizarre — a red skull instead of an avocado pit, all surrounded with purple ooze.

Now, this isn’t such a bad idea for a tattoo. A list of the bands you’ve seen live! Let’s see: Green Day, Nickelback, okay, I guess it is a bad idea.

Nickelback twice? Wow.

This guy is really pleased he’s a father. A little too pleased. Yeah, he got his kid’s face tattooed on the side of his head!

Was Mom part of this process (No)? Was he drunk when he made this decision (Yes)? But, most importantly, does he love his kid (Yes. Aww)?

The miss loves Africa, good for her. She’s even got a heart of Africa there.

And the incredibly meaningful phrase above it lets us know she isn’t what you might call entirely altruistic in her love.

They say only God can judge, but they don’t say anything about him as a juge. And, you know what? We’re calling you out, dude.

We’re all “juging” you right now, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Remember the adage about imagining how a tattoo looks when you’re old and wrinkled? There’s a reason for that.

This old guy is probably regretting his choices of personal style, but that’s probably not the only thing since this looks a lot like a mugshot.

We got some classic Chinese pandas, tasty bamboo, and what looks like a Hindu symbol, but the bears are misshapen and lumpy.

Our subject was clearly proud since it looks like he took a picture as soon as he got out of the chair, but maybe wait until it looks good before sharing.

Another famous face! Gucci Mane is a…rapper. That’s it, got it. And Gucci Mane loves him some tasty, cold treats.

He’s a man who keeps updating his style to higher and higher heights, and this is just one step on his way to memorable greatness.

Michelangelo is ready to jump out of the sewers and take on ninjas, except he’s confined to a nose on a guy’s face.

We get that you like TMNT, but how about something on the arm?

Man, that’s a lot of teeth. This guy is clearly a dentist, which is why he…why he has so many…so many teeth. On his chest.

No, wait, maybe he’s the tooth fairy, and the bigger the smile, the more teeth he’s collected. Sweet dreams, kids!

Well, maybe the disguise isn’t working too well. I mean, the horns are still showing.

Oh, and apparently one goatee wasn’t enough — he had to get a real one *and* a tattooed one?

Sure, this person only lives once, just like the rest of us.

But is this life really with living with that thing as a constant reminder of that time you disregarded autocorrect?

Okay, we aren’t here to play the judge or the police or any other representative of the law.

We have no idea what crimes this man or hasn’t committed. Well, that’s not entirely correct.

We’d like to take a minute and thank this woman for ruining what used to be our favorite children’s book.

Nothing like a poorly executed double tramp stamp in bad taste to make us never read “Alice in Wonderland” ever again.

This poor girl and the poor cats she has for eyebrows (how did we even get to writing that sentence?) give the term “crazy cat lady” a whole new meaning.

And if you like cats to the point you wish to tattoo them on your eyebrows, shouldn’t you at least get a better design that doesn’t look like it was drawn on with a dull nail?

Hey, we love hotdogs as much as the next guy, but getting one permanently placed on your body is a whole other level.

This specific hotdog seems to have died and gone to hotdog heaven where it got its angel wings and halo. May it rest in peace.

Oh wait, this isn’t Harry Potter at all! Just a mugshot of someone who was probably arrested for stealing his identity.

The lightning on his forehead had us fooled for a second.

Wow. There is so much going on in here. Obviously, the first thing you notice is the… beef drapes?

But it gets more confusing the more you look at it.

Oh, dear. What are we even looking at? Was this guy going for some kind of ancient blueprints? A map of rivers full of his enemies’ blood?

You’ve got to hand it to him for the pain tolerance he must have. God knows getting your skull inked must be unbelievably painful.

Facial hair is a matter of taste. Some people like it, other people don’t. And hey, different strokes, right?

If you’re a lady who enjoys a man with a mustache, that’s your prerogative!

Men and their facial hair. What a complicated relationship! Some guys just can’t seem to grow their own and are somehow led to believing it makes them less masculine.

And while no facial hair is no reason to be considered any less of a man, this poor excuse for a mustache, a goatee, and sideburns do make him look like less of a human.

We’re going to give you one chance to guess who this guy’s favorite superhero is. In fact, he must have become so obsessed with finding a radioactive spider of his own he decided to get one tattooed.

Too bad he got it on his face, though. Hey, look at the bright side — at least you don’t have to come up with a new Halloween costume every year!

Once upon a time, men with receding hairlines had to either accept the fact they were going bald or settle for a hat.

Nowadays, we have all the technology to help them regain their hair and confidence.

Oh, dear. You look like you could use a nice cup of tea and a good hug. But, you know, in retrospect. As in before you went and had that thing put on your forehead.

The piercings and hairdo are all reversible in case this lady changes her mind. But the ink? Oh, that’s a different story.

We can spot a few inspirations on which the ink here was based. First, this poor man’s Matthew McCaunoghey is inspired by Frida Kalo, which explains the unibrow.

Next, he is inspired by Ninja Turtles, which explains the ninja stars on his neck.

Yup, horror is the word alright. People rarely come with their own subtitles, but this one did the courtesy of having subtitles right on her forehead.

Tattoos are an integral part of society, with many people sporting one or more tattoos on their body, it is certain that these tattoos can be significant for many people and cultures from around the world. Their history is quite rich and dates back centuries. Today, tattoos bear several meanings for different individuals, and these range from cultural reasons to basic aesthetic reasons.

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